Life Lessons to my daughters - Part 1

Appreciating your own beauty is not being vain.

Admiring your own beauty (internal and external) is a good thing, so don’t be shy about appreciating your reflection in the mirror.

Over the years working with women as their therapist, I've witnessed how difficult it is for so many of them to appreciate their own loveliness and their own unique beauty.

From an early age, young girls are often taught that vanity is “bad.”  Therefore, rather than appreciating their own unique features and beauty, they learn to observe themselves with a critical eye.  If we look at the mirror too much, are we being vain?  So when we look at ourselves, perhaps it's okay if we are not too admiring of our own reflection.  We learn to observe ourselves and judge ourselves with a critical eye. 

• “My eyes are too small."
• "My forehead is too big."
• "I wish my lips were more plump.”  

And what happens?  Our brain circuits become wired to that negative thinking.  And that’s what we learn to associate with our reflection.

Rather than, “I love my nose and the parts of me that make me unique and beautiful in my own way," we get used to criticizing the reflection that looks back at us.  And as we grow up looking critically at ourselves in the mirror, we internalize those criticisms. 

Why is it so difficult to look at ourselves with acceptance and appreciation?  Maybe it's because that's what we were taught.

So dear daughter, please look in the mirror, look into your eyes, look at the curve of your chin or the way your smile is lopsided, and admire your own beauty.  Because you are beautiful.